


Shared Tears

by CrazyHeCallsMe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, but not really sad, erwin wallowing, levi being all supportive and nice, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 01:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyHeCallsMe/pseuds/CrazyHeCallsMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tears build in his eyes as he watches the other man sleeping beside him, one arm, his only arm holding tight, desperately wanting to grip onto Levi so he doesn't leave, but Erwin holds back the urges, he doesn't cry. He had to, he had to because… he wasn't the same, not anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shared Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Just go with it guyyyyys, go with ittt.........
> 
> Ok but seriously I was inspired by a lovely piece of art by theongG on twitter, here~  
> https://twitter.com/theongG/status/592362800091045891
> 
> (I asked for permission~)

He wasn’t the same. Erwin knew his circumstance though, he had no right to complain or deny Levi his own right to want to see someone else, to be enclosed within a loving hug of two arms rather than one. But then why would his throat swell until no words could form when he wished to tell Levi, or tears build in his eyes as he watches the other man sleeping beside him, one arm, his only arm holding tight, desperately wanting to grip onto Levi so he doesn’t leave, but Erwin holds back the urges, he doesn’t cry. He had to, he had to because… he wasn’t the same, not anymore.

*

“Erwin” Levi’s voice jostled Erwin to sit up at his desk, he hadn’t realised he was daydreaming, yet Levi didn’t seem to notice his shock and continued to walk inside.

“The new brats are shit at cleaning, the kitchen still fucking stinks, who was their supervisor?” he finished off and leans on the side of Erwin’s work desk, with his arms folded across his chest. Erwin simply smiles, Levi was the same as ever, so observant nothing can slip past him, especially when it comes to cleaning.

“Um, I think it was Hanji this week” his reaction was slow and he could see the question on Levi’s face. But he turned his head to face the floor, if only to keep up with the conversation.

“I should’ve guessed” Levi mumbled before sighing. He looked back to Erwin’s desk and noticed he had be working on the same document since the last time he had walked in. It didn’t take a psychologist to realise that something was bothering him.

“Hey, you sick or something?” he tries to soften his features as much as he could. Erwin was caught a little, and just as always he tries to hide it with a smile.

“Hm? Oh, no I’m fine” Erwin then pretends to focus his gaze on the document in front of him. Though Levi didn’t buy it.

“Hm…” he hummed before repositioning himself “Because usually by now you’d be all, oh Levi let me kiss your ass, or something like that” it made Erwin chuckle slightly and Levi ghosted a smile.

“Oh, is that what you prefer?” Erwin was glad he decided to look to Levi than keep staring at the boring paper. The man had his head turned and the faintest blush was visible on the tips of his ears, then Levi slowly eyed Erwin with a pout.

“Move” he demanded and positioned himself on the desk in front of Erwin. It made him smile as he moved closer and rested his head on Levi’s belly, Levi took it as notion to stroke the others hair. There was a moment of blissful silence.

“If you wanted to cuddle you could’ve just said so” Levi spoke, it made Erwin look to him with love in his eyes. But soon he noticed it, he noticed how he wasn’t the same. One arm wrapped around Levi, the other side felt cold, it looked empty, like he wasn’t giving Levi everything and his eyes deepened in sorrow. He furrowed his brows and cleared his throat as Levi looked to him questionably. But Erwin stuttered, he closed his mouth to regain himself before gazing into Levi’s eyes, trying to keep his as stern as he could.

“I’ve been thinking actually” he took the lack of response as a signal to keep talking.

“That… that maybe you’d be… be better suited to someone else” It took Erwin everything to get his words out, he even felt his voice crack, for the first time in a long time. The expression he was getting from Levi was unreadable, or maybe he was just too anxious to take the time to read it, either way the other man didn’t reveal his thoughts immediately.

It felt like they had fell into a sinking silence, one that seemed to slow time as each second passed. That was, until Levi started laughing, as if Erwin had told the best joke he’d ever heard.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” was his reply. It made Erwin frown, he didn’t want to elaborate because he hated thinking about it.

“It means you should be with someone else, someone other than me”

“No shit”

“Levi, I’m serious” Erwin’s voice was warning, but Levi simply gave him a languid smile.

“You deserve… better, better than me” he finished off. A few minutes pass, and when Erwin didn’t add anything else Levi’s face began to scrunch in a frown.

“The fuck you’re talking about? Who do you think I am, spitting out shit as if I’d go kissing some ass of the nobles… What’s wrong with you?”

“That’s not what I meant” it made Levi snort.

“Oh, what do you mean then, please enlighten me” Levi leaned back slightly and crossed his arms over his chest, his face was in a scowl. Erwin now felt that lump rise in his throat again, it was painful and persistent.

“I…. You…” He couldn’t form the sentence and his eyes began to sting. With a long sigh Erwin looked down, staring at Levis belt which was just below his eye level.

“I can’t give you… enough” he mumbled.

“Erwin, you don’t have to give me anything” Levi said but not really understanding exactly what Erwin even meant.

“No, it’s not right… you give me so much, you give me love, strength, confidence, trust… warmth… warmth of two strong hands” his voice lowers “And I can’t give that… not anymore, I’m not the same” he looks to Levi and catches the others shining eyes “Levi, you deserve that, everything, I want you to” he chokes “I want you to g-”

Before he could finish, Levi places a finger to his lips to stop him. He lets all the words sink in before figuring out what it is Erwin was trying to say, he then leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips, lingering for a moment before pulling away to gaze in the other’s eyes. But Erwin avoided it.

“Erwin” Levi says softly as he tries to catch his gaze but Erwin still refuses, he feels too weak.

“Erwin, no matter what happens, whether you lose an arm or a leg, or even both, I’ll still be right here…” The other man now gazes back, questioning.

“You’re mine Erwin, and I’m yours, it’s not going to change, I don’t care what’s better or worse, because you’re here with me and that feels right… I vowed to follow you and I will” Erwin felt a swell in his chest, it was something he’d always get around Levi, but today it was more, after hearing him speak it felt unbearable. It swelled so much it was painful, the nicest pain he has felt in so long and he couldn’t stop the moisture in his eyes spill over the edges and a lightness followed suit.

“Levi” he croaked through sob stained voice and hid his face against Levi’s belly. Tears kept falling, all of his pent up sadness was finally being released and he couldn’t stop it.

“I love you, I love you so much” he whispers as his body shook with tears. Levi had wrapped his arms around the man, resting his head against his. It was the first time he has seen Erwin cry, it was strange and filled him with a sense of protection, it reassured him that he was true in what he said and will always want to follow him.

He then felt some moisture on his cheek and wiped it away to see tears of his own. Levi hadn’t realised he had begun crying with the man in his lap, he shared his pain, he was glad, he wanted to be there for Erwin no matter what, even if it meant he had to share his tears.

“I love you too, Erwin”


End file.
